FAMILIARITY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

Like some of you reading this, I’ve been through a lot in my life. I wouldn’t change any of it now, but at the time, I felt like I wanted to die. I thank God for the Holy Spirit bringing my heart & mind into alignment with God’s purpose for me. He gave me beauty in exchange for my ashes, and I was healed from the pain of my past.

Fast forward… after my proclaimed healing, I had bouts of mental relapse in which I could see myself going back to the very chains that had once bound me. I discovered that my issue was never what I thought it was. I kept revisiting my pain because it’s what I knew. It gave me a reason to keep thinking and feeling the way I did. It helped me justify my actions and thoughts and I could keep blaming my pain on my offenders. It was familiar. And it was fatal to my spirit and my mind.

I wouldn’t consider myself a fool, but I have surely done some foolish things. The most foolish perhaps would be to dwell in a parched land, when God had already lead me into prosperity. I have cried out to the Lord, and he surely heard me. I have felt His spirit all around me- comforting, loving me and instructing me. I have laid prostrate before Him until I felt the burden of my sins and grief lifted. I have even repented for asking the Lord to remove my shackles, but continuing to remain in the cage of my captor. All of that, and yet I’ve still been foolish to think that my pain was my friend. Multiple times and often, I’ve been imprisoned by past hurts- the same past hurts. I would kick those familiar hurts out, only to open the door again and invite them back in to have a seat at the table of my life. A welcomed guest perhaps, the familiar spirit knew right when to show up and I’d have a plate of joy ready for it to consume.

Why do we rejoice and praise God for healing the dark places, the hidden hurts, maybe even the public displays of rebelliousness and the places only He can touch and then go back to it like a dog and his vomit? Why are we fools and return to our foolishness, though it is poison to our souls? Because, like a dog and his mess, it looks familiar, it smells familiar and we have claimed it as ours. We have, in a sense, made these familiar issues our friend. Our BEST friend. Ya know, the friend that’s been around for as long as you could remember, and has been there with you through everything good and bad in your life; you might even get tired of them from time to time, but you know they will always be there.  Thank God, I realized, that my friend was really my foe.

I had been wearing those shackles for so long, that they were a part of me. But they became a heavy burden and had to be released when I took my eyes off of my past and started looking towards my Savior. Yes, He saved me. He only had to do it once. His blood was enough to cover everything past and present. Once you claim Jesus to be Lord over your life, you no longer have to feel comforted by the familiar spirits that kept you bound. You can shake off the heaviness and break out of the prison that you are keeping yourself in. You are a new creature, and you don’t look like that old, lonely dog anymore.

Sincerely With Love,

Jess ❤

Purposefully Made

 

I turned away from my desk and gazed out of the window. I wanted to be anywhere but where I was. I could hear my children playing outside, but from my second story window I couldn’t see them. It sounded like they were really enjoying themselves in the sprinkler. They sounded so happy. But I just couldn’t shake the guilt that I was feeling. I had been upstairs, locked in my office for the last six hours. I spent lunch in front of my computer and I would soon miss dinner, too. I told myself that it was all for the greater good and that I had to sacrifice now to enjoy life later. I had been a stay-at-home mom and wife for the last ten years, and now I was back in school, attempting algebra again for about the fifth time in my life! It kept me posted in my office most days. I was trying to get through two years of schooling in about one. The quicker I was done, the quicker I could begin to work again and help my husband take care of our financial needs. Had been doing it long enough by himself.  My babies were older now, and now I could do something to further my career.

My career. What a joke. I was working on my third college major, but I had yet to complete even one! First I tried criminal justice, then accounting and now, although it had been 8 years since I was last enrolled in school, I was again trying to complete requirements for a certificate in radiography. I was not particularly fond of anything pertaining to the medical field, but I liked the fact that I could get my certificate in two yeas and begin working in a hospital. That sounded exciting. And meaningful. I wanted to do something that mattered.

At that point, it had not really occurred to me that maybe I was actually already doing what mattered the most. I was a M-O-M, and I loved it. I loved staying home with them, too, and taking care of my husband and matters of the home. But it just didn’t seem like it was enough. Now, at the time, I would defend the plight of the SAHM any day of the week, and proclaim that being a SAHM was the most rewarding job that I could ever have. I would scoff at the comments that some would make like,” you should finish school” or “I don’t know HOW you stay at home”, and I had even over heard a family member telling my oldest daughter that she should finish college before she starts a family so not to be like her mom. That stung. I had sacrificed for my children and I wouldn’t have changed that for anything in the world. But secretly, I was screaming silently inside. No one really knew that although I felt that my role in the family was important, I also felt like there was more that I was made for. Not really the feeling that taking care of my family was not “good” enough, but that there was more. I was feeling a push. And I allowed  this push to catapult me into enrolling in school- again- although  I wasn’t really sure if that was the avenue that I should have gone. I did it for the sake of doing something. I felt that doing something towards something was better than doing nothing.

Fast forward a few weeks, and I found myself crying in a bathroom stall during a leadership conference. I had gained a love for self- development and spent a lot of time with others who felt the same as I did about bettering themselves and helping others do the same. During a talk by a woman around my age, I felt the Lord speaking to my heart. Just like me, she was a Stay-At-Home-Mom and had been for years. She boasted that she was called to her purpose. God had created her to be the main caretaker, heart- mender, soul- guider, nourisher and encourager in her children’s lives. She was CALLED to be a mother. And while she spoke to the onlookers about the joys of pursuing the life that one is called to,whatever it may be,  I realized that I was seeking the life that others thought I should have. I had missed out on so many moments with my family and others that meant so much to me over the last year while I chased a dream that was never really mine. I quickly got out of my seat and fought back an ugly cry- you know the one!- as I walked to the ladies room. I locked myself in and let the rivers of regret flow from my eyes. God had called me, too, to be a phenomenal  mother in this season of my life, and I was trying to replace the most meaningful job I had ever had with a man given ideal that a book bred education was more rewarding than a God given purpose. I had never once asked God what I should be doing with this push that I felt, I had only turned in the direction that I saw others turning to.

In that moment, I had a revelation that God had already equipped me with what I needed for this time and He had a purpose for my life. Psalm 139:13 says that he created my inmost being; He knit me together in my mother’s womb. It is written in Luke 12:7 that even the hairs on my head were numbered. He knew every detail of my life before I was even formed in my mothers womb. And Proverbs 19:21 told me that we may have many plans in our heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Oh, how much time and money I would have saved if I had first asked the Creator of All just who He was creating me to be. Peace and contentment felt unattainable because I was not thriving in my calling. I was drowning in my desire to be like everyone else while conforming to the status quo. In that moment I was feeling such a conviction that I had been forsaking the steps that God had ordered for me. I realized that the push I was feeling was God nudging me in the direction of my destiny. I WAS called to be a wife, a mother, and I was called and set apart to help others recognize their true potential and encourage others to seek Christ in order to fulfill their God-given purpose- and in that order. Everything changed for me that day.

It is my prayer that everyone reading this right now would ask God what the purpose for their life is, and diligently seek what He has for you. You were born on purpose, and for a purpose. The Lord was not surprised by your arrival. He created you for good works which He prepared in advance for us (Ephesians 2:10) , and He knows the plans that He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11).  It’s possible that what you’ve been running towards is not meant for you. Or maybe you are feeling discontent because God is pushing towards an unfamiliar place. Like I was, you may be feeling a kind of stirring up inside, but you don’t really know what to do next. Do not allow yourself to feel discouraged! Ask the Lord for wisdom, and be obedient to the direction He is leading you.  You are loved and purposefully made by The One who predetermined your destiny!

 

Sincerely With Love,

Jess ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Preservation Vs. Perseverance

 

FEAR. It paralyzes and may leave you defenseless. It activates the reaction to withdraw, stand down, and retreat. It is a strong force that evokes skepticism and doubt. And it is the ruler of many lives.

Not long ago I was sitting with some friends and we were talking about what was going on in our lives at that moment. Two of the women were embarking on an endeavor to help others with their services and were so excited about how they could see God putting the pieces into place to make it all possible.  They were encouraged and motivated. It truly was refreshing to see these lovely ladies moving forward in the calling that is placed over their lives.  I also shared how I had noticed a positive response from others who I had been encouraging through my writing and social media posts.  I shared how I was feeling so compelled to continue to push others to pursue their passions and run towards their destiny.  As I spoke, I felt joy from within and I could hear it in my voice, noticing it as if I was the audience and not the one speaking. I, too, had found my purpose, my passion, my life’s destiny.  It had been revealed to me, and yet again, I was walking out the vision God gave me long ago.  I was pursuing it, and it felt good. It was right. It was fulfilling because God had breathed it into existence.  God placed it in my heart. Which brought me to this question that I uttered out loud- “Why had I ever stopped?” Why had I stopped dreaming, encouraging, and lifting others up in the way that I had in the past? What happened to the drive I had to help others realize their purpose?

My dear friend looked at me and said, “You were probably going through something and kinda withdrew.”  How profound! Yes! She was exactly right! A year or so ago, my husband and I began to experience some difficulties with my oldest child.  It was effecting every part of our lives.  My thoughts were hindered and my actions came to a halt. I was hurt, angry, depressed and definitely in survival mode.  I was just going through the motions of living.  I was in a place that I had never been before, because I had never before experienced pain at the hand of my child.  Fear of the unknown had me bound.  Fear of the future had me paralyzed spiritually.  I wasn’t moving forward. I was stuck.

I believe my friend was so easily able to pin point why I had gone off the radar, because the reason was something that is very human in nature- Self-Preservation.  We had all done it.  It’s a behavior that is actually near universal among living organisms.  It is the natural, instinctive tendency to preserve ones own existence; to preserve from destruction or harm and to maintain the place that you are in.  And my self-preservation instinct was activated by fear. BUT NEVER AGAIN.

I’m thankful to God for the Grace He gives us to grow.  The Grace He gives to discover ourselves.  The Grace He gives to step from level to level.  In the last year, I’ve learned so much about who I am and who God is creating me to be, and I’m so thankful that He’s taken me from a place of self-preservation to perseverance.  Fear was causing me to seek a false place of safety- withdrawing as a coping mechanism to prevent any further emotional trauma.  It is true that danger may be all around us, but fear is a state of mind that is birthed from the enemy of our lives.  2 Timothy 1:7 proclaims “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind”. God did not give you fear. Nor does Jesus speak of self-preserving. Would you really WANT to stay exactly where you are right now?

It was fear that had hindered my drive to chase my God given purpose. It was fear that made me feel inadequate to pursue my dreams.  It was fear that imprisoned my ability to speak life to others and to inspire. And I say, NEVER AGAIN. You may want to know if all is well with my child now. Yes. Yes it is.  But please understand that my change and my courage did not come after the storm had passed, but while I was WITHIN it.  I asked the Lord for strength, for the Grace to Persevere.

I will persevere in the face of trouble. I will persevere, even if it seems success is unattainable.  I will continue in the course of action, despite what difficulties arise.  I will seek tenaciously after the vision that God has deepened within me.  And I will help you to do the same. Fear is not in charge of my life- and you don’t have to yield to it’s control over yours.

Sincerely with Love,

Jess ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marvelous Motherhood

 America has affectionately dubbed the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. This annual day to celebrate all things motherhood had always been kind of an emotional day for me. In grade school, when the other children were making clay bowls and hand made picture frames out of popsicle sticks for their moms, I was creating and painting while thinking of which one I was going to give my mother and which one I was giving my grandmother. It was important for me to honor my mother because she was my mom, but my grandmother had stepped into her role when I was born. There always needed to be grand acknowledgement of her, too. Even though I was never sure if I was going to see my mom on Mother’s day, I didn’t want to hurt her by not making her anything. I also thought that maybe my grandmother would feel betrayed if she didn’t get a gift since she was the one caring for me.  Sort of a confusing thing for a child- but my grandmother never made me feel like she was upset for the gift I made my mom. Though we had many hard times and I had, in the past, harbored resentment and pain in my heart because of some unfavorable circumstances, I cannot justify withholding credit where it is due. My grandmother did the best that she could do with what she had to work with.

At the age of 25, Lorraine was left to care for five children on her own after her husband, my maternal grandfather, passed away. She’s told me stories of things she did to make ends meet and the mental state she was in. She would say, “I did what I had to do- you just keeping pushing, regardless of how you feel, because you have to”. A while later (I don’t remember how long), she gave her children a father and married a man who gave her twins- a boy and a girl. The marriage ended because he was an abusive alcoholic during their married years.  She could no longer watch her five first born be mistreated, so the union was ended. Some time after that, she married again, and this was no cake walk either. Then fast forward around her 40th birthday, here comes little Jessie. Instead of allowing me to be adopted out, she brought me home and called me her baby. I can’t articulate the gratefulness I feel for Lorraine. Life wasn’t perfect, but it was life. And whatever she didn’t teach me, whatever gift she didn’t nurture, or whatever tear I cried because  I wished for my birth mother to fulfill her role, my heavenly Father took care of; He was there all along. Thank you, Lord, for knowing me before I was created in the womb, consecrating me and appointing me (Jeremiah 1:5).

So now I have four beautiful, amazing children and I am called Mother. What does being a mother mean to me? It means that I am a warrior. I put my armor on every day and fight for my family. My children are arrows (Psalm 127:4) that are being crafted to puncture this world with the love of Christ.  I am in the trenches. I do what is not comfortable, and try to do what is right. I love them unconditionally and I am called to teach, guide, empower and encourage. They are my precious gifts. Many mother’s have poured their hearts out to me over the years and cried in desperation, wanting to know if they are doing a good enough job with their kids. They were fearful that they were not enough- not enough emotionally, spiritually, financially; not enough love, support or guidance. I understand what that feels like because, I too, have questioned by ability and have felt ill equipped for one of the most important responsibilities on this planet.  I’ve made mistakes and I’ve not parented perfectly.  To these mothers, my answer is usually always the same – do the best that you can do; develop a relationship with God for yourself and keep your kids before Him.  Stay in the fight; your kids will remember that you didn’t give up.  And if you think that you’ve fallen short in some area in regards to mothering your children, take it to God and let him fix it. These gifts, our children, are His anyways.

Happy Mother’s Day to my grandmother, Lorraine, who loved me as her own, to my mother, Dawn, who gave me life, and the other women who poured into me over the years.

Sincerely, with love,

Jess ❤

IGNITE THE RESET

     Today is a new day. I decided just last night that there are some goals that I’ve not accomplished, and I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired! Do you ever just get fed up with yourself? That’s where I’m at right now. There are just some things that have to change! I just know that I can’t stay in the place that I am in, so I’m calling a “RESET”. I’m exercising the grace given to me to start over.  It’s something I learned from Abraham, who was called by God to leave the house of his father and travel to a land that He (God) would show him (Genesis 12). I know there are some things that God has called me to as well, and I’ve not followed through with His plan for me. But, today is a new day! Over the years, Abraham’s life has taught me many lessons, and this day he reminded me of the “reset”.

     Abraham departed with his cousin, Lot, and his wife, Sarai, and their possessions, and came to the land of Canaan. Here, The Lord appeared to Abraham, promised the land to his descendants, and Abraham built an altar to the Lord.  He moved east, and still the same, he built an altar to the Lord. And finally, he journeyed on towards the South where he found their to be a famine in the land. Genesis 12:10 is where I found that I often followed Abraham in his actions- Abraham found a famine in the land, but instead of calling out to the Lord and building an alter to the Lord as he had done in the past, the bible records that Abraham decided to go down to Egypt, where prosperity seemed to flow.  All too often in my life, I’ve been like Abraham, and followed what I thought looked good at the time instead of consulting the one who sent me. Have you ever moved in the direction that seemed right, only to find out that it was all wrong? Oh, how many headaches and heartaches we would save ourselves if we only just slowed down and asked God what our next move should be!

     If you go on to read in Genesis, Abraham’s wife was good to look at, and he was concerned that the men in Egypt would kill him to take her as their own.  So he conspired with her to lie and say that she was his sister, in order to spare his life. As predicted by Abraham, Sarai was taken into the house of Pharaoh, and Abraham was awarded greatly for her with livestock and servants. But the Lord plagued Pharaoh and his house because he had taken up with someone else’s wife. Pharaoh called on Abraham for questioning, learned the truth, and sent him away. Chapter 13 begins with noting that Abraham- with wife, Lot and riches from the house of Pharaoh- went back to where he had camped at the beginning, the place where he first built an altar, and called on the name of the Lord.  If he had done that first,  perhaps he would not have brought suffering into the house of Pharaoh, and the problems that followed.

     There are definitely consequences, good or bad, to every decision that is made. It is possible that you may go back to the point where you went off track, and find that you made your road more difficult by departing off the intended track to begin with. If that’s you today- if you are finding yourself on a path not intended and wondering how you are ever going to come back from your mistake, think about Abraham and how he went back to where he lost touch with the Father. As Abraham found, he hadn’t followed the direction of God completely from the beginning and did indeed bring trouble to himself and those he traveled with. However, God still extended Grace and Mercy and made him a “father of many nations”. Repent, lay it all out on the altar, and experience the restorative power of God’s grace! Because He loves us…

     Psalm 23:2-3a “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet          waters, he restores my soul.”

Sincerely with Love,

Jess ❤

SKIPPING SPRING

So, Michigan did it again… and the jokes keep rolling in. Daily, I hear comical comments about our bi-polar state, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better! We are experiencing below-average temperatures for this time of year and everyone is talking about it! Has Michigan decided to skip Spring all together? How will this effect the length of summer? Oh, and my favorite question- “how are you liking this snow?”  I feel the same way you do.  I’m over this!  I’m ready for poolside reading, barbecue, long days and warm nights.

I looked out of my window yesterday morning and let out a sigh of disgust. Even those who express their love for this white mess can agree that it’s about time for it to be over.  These Michiganders seem to be just as confused as the weather. Today I saw a woman wearing a hat and gloves- and flip flops. It was quite the sight, but I found it to be a profound example of what I would call Delayed Destination Disorder coupled with Seasonal Depression. It’s what happens when a person loses focus on their journey, because the destination- their season to prosper and realize their purpose- isn’t coming fast enough. Symptoms include discontentment, impulsive decision making,  loss of patience, loss of joy, negative feelings about themselves and others, physical symptoms like headaches and stomach pain, and anger issues.  It can be hard to diagnose, because the sufferer may just appear ambitious and driven, when in fact they are doing all they can to force their will instead of trusting the process and growing within their current season of life.

“Life is a journey, not a destination”, they say. Ahhhhh… the “journey”. The word itself suggests that one is actually going somewhere; traveling from one place to another. However, this journey can really be more of travailing than traveling.  We are often chasing a dream or purpose, but feel like we are spinning wheels.  In the past, I had been travailing in a season of my life for so long, that I had wondered if I WAS at the destination, and I’d been wrong all along about my purpose.  I had experienced bouts of discontentment and loss of joy.  I had DDD.  I had been so convinced about who I was and actively searching in expectation for God’s movement, that I had missed realizing the blessing of Spring- the season between Winter and Summer. I was disenchanted with waiting on life to happen. When was my abundant life going to begin?

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t take another day in your current situation? Have you ever felt trapped in the season you are in and anxious for the life that keeps evading your grasp?  Have you ever wondered if you missed the mark and did not correctly discern the voice of God regarding the road you should travel?  Have you ever asked, “When, God? When will my life start”?  I know now that I was not alone in these feelings, even though at the time is seemed like no one on this earth could possibly understand me.  I didn’t feel nearly as relevant as others claimed and I didn’t feel fulfilled.  Success didn’t look like this, and surely didn’t feel like this. I know now that I wasn’t alone in how I felt. I’ve talked to enough people to know that this seasonal depression plagues many.  Despite the amazing lives that are portrayed to us on television and social media, I know that much of what we see is a facade. We live among a great population who feel like I once had- frustrated by the need for more.

After this long winter that we’ve experienced, you may be eager to skip over Spring.  Personally, I miss long walks at the park, swimming and sun bathing. But Spring is a necessary season.  It’s where the soil is warmed,  seeds are planted and nourished. It’s the time of year when the Earth’s tilt is more relevant to the sun and days are lengthened.  Spring brings the showers that make the flowers bloom. But this is true also- in some places, spring brings dry spells or storms, torrential downpours and tornadoes. Sometimes, the weather is unstable and danger is very real. I thank God for the revelation that, like the earth is leaning more to the sun, I need to be leaning more to the Son! God is not more concerned about you coming into your purpose than He is about how ready you are to receive it. It is foolish to expect a harvest in the Fall, if we never planted seed and cultivated the soil in the Spring.  Spring time in your life is not an unnecessary delay to your purpose, but a time of growth and new beginnings. It’s who we become in the process that is most important, and not the destination itself.

Psalm 145:15-16 ” The eyes of all look to You. And you give them their food in due time.  You open your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing.”

With Love,

Jess ❤

 

Remedy for a Stiff Neck

Recently, my son was hurt in gym class by a hockey puck that went rogue and jumped up to bite him in the neck. The day after, his neck was stiff and swollen. An x-ray concluded that there was no neck fracture, however,  a week went by and he still could not move his neck.  His pain was described as a “10” or a “9” on a good day.  We sought more medical attention. Fast forward a few weeks and we saw two x-rays, a cat scan, an ultra sound, pain medication, muscle relaxers, heat and ice therapy and still there was no improvement. He was lacking proper rest, had missed an accumulative month of school and spent most of his time propped up by pillows on the couch.  It baffled the doctors. They had nothing more to offer me in regards to the reason for all of this or any different treatment regimen.  A blood clot or fractured neck was ruled out, and so I wondered if the next step should be chiropractic care. The doctors wanted to make sure that this issue was not caused by something more serious before they referred him to treatment that could exasperate the problem. And now, we had tried everything and every test was performed, so I took him to a chiropractor that specialized in sports medicine.

The chiropractor examined him and concluded that we weren’t dealing with a neck injury, but rather muscles that were constricted and causing nerves to be pinched.  My son had gone so long without moving his neck in an effort to protect himself, that it lead to this extreme stiffness.  Treatment would consist of 4-6 weeks of therapy that included pulling, stretching, electrical muscle stimulation, icing and exercises every other day. Had I brought him in sooner, he would not have gone through 8 weeks of constant pain and immobility. The doctor said he wished I had brought him in after the first x-ray- and I felt myself shrink in my chair.

I was present for the first round of treatment, and I literally experienced the pain that my son was going through.  Every time the doctor asked my son to breathe through the pain as he slowly stretched his neck, a tear would drop from my eye.  He was trying so hard to be strong and not cry, but I could feel it.  When it was finally over, he broke down in the car on the way home.  He, too, was relieved that it was not as serious as once thought, but holding those tears in and being strong through the stretching was a bit overwhelming.  However, the second visit to the chiropractor showed us that he would improve much faster than expected. Now the doctor was believing that he would have a full recovery in about two weeks.  Over the next 24 hours, he was able to slightly move his neck and I could see a great improvement in his mood.  He was no longer frustrated with the pain, but understood that this pain- the pain of therapy- was a good pain.  Without doing the exercises, he understood that although moving hurt, if he continued to protect himself by not moving, he would only make the inflammation worse and revert back to the extreme stiffness.

I had been told about the depths of parental love before I became one, but I don’t know if I really understood it until loving my children became one of the hardest things that I’ve ever been faced with.  I don’t mean that they are hard to love, but rather that loving someone with your whole heart, with all of your being to the core of your existence (how can I explain it, really?) can be unbelievably hard when you have to watch them experience pain. We’ve dealt with our children’s broken hearts, crushed egos, unhealthy self-esteems, ill feelings, painful words, and physical pain, too. Bumps on the head, broken arms, fractured noses, and a few years ago one of my sons accidentally put a metal rod through his brother’s upper lip.  When you love another so strongly, you experience their pain as if it were your own. I even wonder if maybe I felt it worse than they did.

When I was sitting in the examination room, encouraging my son while he pushed through the pain and endured the stretching, a thought came to me.  I quietly whispered, “Thank you, Holy Spirit”.  Have you ever tried everything you possibly could to relieve your pain, making Jesus your last resort?  Have you ever said, “Well, all we can do now is pray” in response to trying other remedies before going to our Father? How about going our own way despite the urging and direction of the Spirit? Surely, we can be a stiff necked people. But I have good news for you! God has a treatment-  It’s called Grace. You will never see the words “stiff necked” in the bible to mean anything good.  It means “stubborn” or what we might call “hardheaded”.  A stiff necked person is defiant, unruly, and refuses to allow God to change their mind and heart. When the doctor said that he wished he could have started therapy sooner, I felt that he must think I am a negligent mother.  But his next words to me were exemplary of my Father in Heaven. “I understand why you didn’t, though” he said, ” a neck injury can be a scary thing. I’m just glad that he’s here now”. You see, my son’s remedy for the pain actually made it more severe. But once he surrendered to the will of the doctor, healing began to take place. The doctor pushed and pulled and stretched my son’s neck until he felt as if it might break, and just before the pain became truly unbearable, he would let up and give him rest. Being stretched is never comfortable, but is necessary for healing a stiff neck. Are you ready to allow God to direct your life? Thinking of the love I feel for my children, how much more does God love us? I’ll tell you how much- He gave His ONLY son to heal this world of sin. Because of His grace, I am healed!

Jeremiah 17:23
“Yet they did not listen or incline their ears, but stiffened their necks in order not to listen or take correction.”

With Love,

Jess ❤

 

EAGLE IS, AS EAGLE DOES

It’s been almost two years since I’ve become reacquainted with a woman that I had met years ago.  I count myself blessed to have her in my life.  She is what one would call a real “go-getter”. She is a self-starting, purpose-driven diva who looks to strengthen others with her words of encouragement and her wisdom from past experiences. She is a ray of sunshine, and has found Christ to be her source- and has no problem letting others know where her power comes from.  When she asked me to have lunch with her recently, I wouldn’t pass up the chance.  It had been a few weeks since we connected and I was eager to find out what was going on in her life.  I wanted to hear all about how her family was doing, her new business venture and how things were going at her current job.  There were a lot of changes happening, and I wanted to get caught up, and share some of my own recent life events.

We dished over a spicy skillet and a cup of coffee, and I listened intently while she talked about the conversations had with co-workers and management at her office.  The temperature of the whole environment around her was getting to her. The situations she faced at work were frustrating. Tears were welling up in her eyes and spilled over as she talked about the changes that were needed for success, but how her influence was stifled by haughty attitudes and government regulations.  She is an abundance seeker.  She is a forward thinker.  She has a genuine eagle mentality among the chickens.  She’s not comfortable around the ground and she won’t thrive in caged imprisonment.  Though she can survive in captivity, her desire will always be to soar and experience freedom outside of the coop.  Chickens don’t fly; but the eagle builds its nest in the tallest tree and seeks opportunity from the highest point.  My dear friend is an eagle. And she was feeling like her wings were being clipped.

So what’s wrong with being a chicken anyway?  Nothing is wrong with being a chicken- if you were made to be a chicken.  Chickens are quite comfortable being chickens. They are very sociable birds and are happy to scratch the ground around others like themselves. They are found in the wild, and they are able to be domesticated as well.  Either way- a chicken seems to be happy whether they roam free on a farm in Michigan or in the rainforests of India.  But what do you do when you live among chickens, even belong to the same kingdom as chickens, are scientifically listed under the same class as a chicken- but KNOW that you are not in the same family as a chicken. This is where my close friend was finding herself. She wasn’t happy to be like the rest of the group, because she is not a chicken. She desired more than the dirt beneath her toes and getting the attention of the rooster who comes to call. Her desire was to live long, fly high, and encourage others to do the same. But this was becoming increasingly hard given her current situation.

On this day, she felt frustrated with the chickens around her.  “Why can’t they see that there is more to life than their comfortable accommodations? Why can’t they see that they were made to be more than barnyard friends or a tasty paring to mashed potatoes?” The answer was simple- not everyone is an eagle. In fact, chickens make up most of the population of birds in the world. There are more than 25 billion chickens in this world at any given time in comparison to less than 100,000 bald eagles- they were almost extinct! America’s majestic symbol of freedom was threatened by the loss of their habitat and their young being killed by pesticides before ever hatching from their shell. I can imagine that my friend was feeling like these near-extinct eagles; looking around for more of her kind but scarcely finding those among her that have the same wing span and vision that she does. I can imagine how alone she might have felt among the chickens who can’t understand her need to fly, when they can barely get off the ground for ten seconds before gravity wins them over. As I sat, listening to my friend who’s face was now streaked with paths made by running mascara and tissues laid around her coffee cup adorned with lipstick, I felt encouraged. In this moment, I saw strength.

I, too, had been feeling like a caged bird.  But this is why I felt encouraged- I knew that she was feeling the burdens of an eagle, which means that she was, indeed, an eagle.  And knowing WHO you are is the first step in overcoming WHERE you are. I saw myself in her tears, and I was encouraged that I was not alone.  My dear friend knows her purpose, and the frustrating part about knowing your purpose is the opposition that comes along with it. Eagles easily make the list for one of the most largest and strongest birds of prey, but they can still encounter larger birds that also put up a good fight. Do they cower and land among the chickens, give up a life of soaring among the clouds for a life nesting in the hen house? No! They welcome a big challenge, and some types of eagles even prey on animals much larger than they are. Why? Because they are eagles. And that’s what eagles do. They don’t need the chickens to agree with how they go about being eagles; they do not concern themselves with the thoughts of chickens.

The Lord, in all his infinite wisdom, created both chickens and eagles. Neither one is better than the other, but only different. One of the differences between the two is that a chicken will conform to the environment that it is placed in, while an eagle will never forget what they were created to be. Though they may feel the constraints of captivity, they do not adopt a captive mindset. In the case of the eagles who are brought into centers for conservation- to help them grow and expand their territory- never once did the biologists harm them or try to turn the eagles into chickens. It is not possible. When it was time for the eagles to be let back out into their natural habitat- when they were strengthened and ready for the next phase of their life- they did not shrink with fear. The eagles flew to the highest tree top or mountain, spread it’s wings and trusted that the breath of God would push them to the next highest point.

Isaiah 40:26-31

With Love,

Jess ❤

FAILURE TO THRIVE

     One of my favorite features on Facebook is the On This Day page that comes across my News Feed.  Last week, a picture came up of a close friend and I in front of a local gym. Two years ago we were so excited to be starting our journey to health and we commemorated it with a picture. It evoked a great memory, but was also a reminder of how I had failed myself yet again. I felt bad about where I was right now and wished that I had not given up- by now I’m sure I would have achieved my goal.  There were also a few inspirational posts that showed up.  On that day, a year, and two, and three years before I had posted uplifting quotes and motivational messages. But on this day, 2018, I just was not feeling the same. Over the last month or so, I had lost the drive and excitement that I normally felt.  I had been disappointed by unfulfilled expectations and I had not dealt with these feelings in the way that I know I should have.  I fell into a depression.  I felt paralyzed; I felt stuck.  Although I was functioning and carrying on with daily tasks, I had lost my ambition to pursue any goals that I had set or carry out the vision that I knew God had given me.  This became a cycle that only drove me further into my feelings.  I didn’t feel like myself, and every monotonous day that passed only made me feel worse. I knew what was really happening here- I had allowed the enemy’s voice to become louder than the voice of God in my life. My energy level was low- I was experiencing spiritual malnutrition.

     A few days ago, a friend and I were catching up and she was telling me about her son who had been diagnosed with Dysphagia. Dysphagia is a medical term to describe the inability to pass food or liquid from the mouth and into the throat, esophagus and finally into the stomach. It is the difficulty to swallow.  Because of this condition that he had since birth, he was referred to specialists to help him learn how to swallow. Not being able to maneuver his tongue and control the esophageal muscles had caused him to have an aversion to eating certain foods, which resulted in low weight for his age of only 6 years old. Did you even know there was such a thing? I jokingly thought to myself, “Jess, how can you “develop” this aversion to certain foods- like chocolate, cake or sweet drinks? How does one “get” dysphagia”? And then I heard the Spirit say that I already had it. I was suffering from “failure to thrive”.

     Monday marked the day that my office started a weight loss challenge. I have gladly excepted, and I will be participating in an office “Biggest Loser”, if you will.  But today I’m reminded that not only do I need to be wise to what I am putting in my mouth, but I also need to be quick to avert the voice of the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy.  He had been offering me food that was not good for my soul.  I had been eating lies that took my focus off of my identity in Christ. He tried.  He tried to steal my joy- but the Holy Spirit came to remind me that ” man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God” (Matt 4:4).  I had taken my eyes off of the light, and was focusing on only what I could see and not what God had shown me. I truly was suffering from Dysphagia. I had Dysphagia of the spirit- the failure to thrive due to the lack of spiritual nourishment. In my depressive state, I had not been eating the Word of God with fervency.

     My friend told me that she had been taking her son to a speech-language therapist who had been teaching him how to effectively use his tongue to improve his swallowing problems. He had gained 10 pounds and was doing so much better!  What a fine example to remedy a spiritual feeding problem.  We have to learn how to talk again. The Lord’s Word is spirit and life (John 6:63) and if we eat of it, it will become gladness and joy to the heart (Jeremiah 15:16)  We need speech therapy to overcome this darkness so we can be satisfied by His Word. I had to reaffirm who I was and speak life to my dead situation.  And if you are ever feeling such as I was, you need to eat of His Word, too and speak life giving affirmations!

     This nutritional advice doesn’t need to be checked against another or Googled. You don’t need to wonder if this treatment will work for you.  Psalms 34:8 “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him”. You are God’s workmanship.  You have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.  You are free from condemnation.  Nothing can separate you from God’s love.  When doubt comes against you, rely on the truth that God is for you! He will never leave you, nor forsake you! Open up His Word, read His truths and pray God’s promises for your life. Like my photo at the gym, I couldn’t believe that I’ve found myself in this place again. But God! Thank God that He is a God of many chances, brand new mercies and plans filled with purpose and hope. This bread will strengthen, satisfy, and sustain you. Eat, and repeat.

Sincerely With Love,

Jess ❤

Purposefully Made, Part 3

 “How amazing is it that the maker of the universe and all that is in it has established your destiny and purpose before you were even born?!?!  This means that the road to your success has been mapped out, established, and made for you.  Purpose realized is success at its fullest.  You can have money and you can have power, but if you have not sought after your purpose, then there will always be something left to be desired.”- from Purposefully Made, Part 2.

Six years ago, the message of Purposefully Made was conceived.  I stood among friends while listening to mentors speak at a leadership conference, but the loudest voice in the room came from the Lord.  I’m so thankful for the epiphany that ignited my passion!  Have you ever regretted a decision, and then later saw how God used it for your good?  Romans 8:28 tells us that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. So I don’t regret my decision to enroll in school and pursue a career that was not meant for me because it showed me that my value rests in who God says I am, and not in the opinions of people.  Albeit an expensive lesson, it was a lesson learned nonetheless.

God did use all things for my good, and He showed me what my purpose is. Do you wonder what you were made for?  Are you confused about where you are in life right now and if you’re on the right path?  I contend that moving on our feelings is not enough to guide us, as our feelings are circumstantial and are not based on truth.  “Follow your heart” is the message of the world, but the bible tells us that we are fools to trust our own hearts and the heart is deceitful (Proverbs 28:26, Jeremiah 17:9).  So, if all things good come to those who love God and are called according to His purpose, it would be best for us to seek the purpose giver about the direction of our lives.

 With so much talk about destiny and purpose, living your best life and chasing your dreams, one would think that seeking Christ would be part of the conversation.  But so much of the motivational and leadership talks and media influences that are marketed to the masses leave Jesus out of the equation.  It is truly a trick of the enemy of our lives to deceive us by encouraging the pursuit of success without pursuing God.  If that is you- if you are running towards goals, reaching for the stars, searching for your destiny, or even sitting stagnant because you don’t know what to do or how to do it, well then, I challenge you. I challenge you to seek God’s plan for your life. I challenge you to ask the Lord, seek the Kingdom, and knock on the door to your purpose… “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7).

You have everything you need inside of you to fulfill your purpose and live the life that you were made for!  The only problem is that some of us don’t realize that they were made for a purpose!  You were never meant to do it alone- the purpose giver is ready to enter into a relationship with you and lead you to prosperity and good success (Joshua 1:8)!

Sincerely with Love,

Jess ❤

Purposefully Made, Part 2

“Peace and contentment felt unattainable because I was not thriving in my calling. I was drowning in my desire to be like everyone else while conforming to the status quo. In that moment I was feeling such conviction that I had been forsaking the steps that God had ordered for me. I realized that the push I was feeling was God nudging me in the direction of my destiny.”- from Purposefully Made.

 

Success. What is it? What has shaped the definition of success for your life? It was that night at the leadership conference that my own definition of success was quieted by a still small voice. Before that night, all the signs from the heavens couldn’t have shown me that success was something other than prestige or social standing. And then as I stood among hundreds of people and listened to a woman who was much like myself, I was gifted by the gentle voice of the Lord. Though comforting and delivered in His mercy, the Lord’s voice spoke to me louder than the thunderous voices of discouragement that had made a home in my mind. “I created you,” He said, “and I know the plans I have for you”. And just like that, the passion in my heart was ignited and aligned with what He showed me to be true. For me, in that moment, success had been redefined.

 

Many people chase success, but do not agree on the definition. Although fame and wealth may look like success from the outside, you should ask yourself what more you would desire if you already had both. For some, the fact that fame and wealth elude them is the reason that they desire it so. But I wonder if there is an emptiness felt within the hearts of those who have great financial results, but have obtained it through position and not passion. For many years, I equated success with things of this world, but now I understand success to mean so much more. The reason why I was doing what seemed right for my life, but still felt discontent, is because I had not fully understood that God had invested in my future. It was His divine purpose for my life that I should have been seeking and not the ideals of others.

 

God knew exactly what He was doing when He made you, and He knows exactly what He made you for! Your purpose was established before you were born. Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations”. In this passage, God was declaring to Jeremiah that He had already established his walk according to His divine purposes; Jeremiah was made to be a prophet to the nations and was appointed as such before he was even conceived in the womb. God was speaking to Jeremiah, but the same applies to you too! Your destiny (where you are going) was already established according to His purposes, and you were consecrated (set apart for a purpose)!

 

How amazing is it that the maker of the universe and all that is in it has established your destiny and purpose before you were even born?!?! This means that the road to your success has been mapped out, established, and made for you. Purpose realized is success at its fullest. You can have money and you can have power, but if you have not sought after your purpose, there will always be something left to be desired. I’ll use my grandmother’s smartphone for an example. Since most people have one, we know that a smartphone is a hand held personal computer. It was made by combining several different devices and technologies into one. Steve Jobs of Apple first introduced the iPhone as a “revolutionary and magical product.” However, my grandmother simply uses it as a small phone that she carries around in her purse. This technology seems too confusing to her and she hasn’t taken the time to learn how to use all the functions of her phone. By using her phone in her own way, it is still functional, but she is missing out on all of the capabilities in which it was made for- she is not enjoying her phone in the way that it was intended. For years she has been using different devices to establish one goal, when she has the ability to use one device to accomplish a task in a more efficient and time effective way. Likewise, God made you on purpose, and for a purpose! If you are not seeking what He has for you, you are not being used for what you were made for and you are not enjoying all that He has for you! Success goes beyond wealth and power. Success is found in seeking the abundant life that God has purposed for you!

 

In Part 3, the subject of how to seek your purpose will be discussed! I am looking forward to sharing with you more about being Purposefully Made!

Sincerely With Love,

Jess ❤